Things I never knew about pregnancy

There are quite a few things I never knew about being pregnant, and rightly so, as I've never been pregnant, nor walked through a pregnancy with a close friend or family member. I did know a lot though--but most of what I've researched in the last couple of years has been related to actual labor and delivery, so nothing that would be of much help in the majority of the pregnancy. And I recently found out I know way more than my husband. Again, rightly so, but I was somewhat shocked to learn that my husband had no idea what a C-section was and that he has never, ever changed a diaper. Never! I mean I can see that when I think about it, but I've changed hundreds of diapers in my life, so I was still shocked. I've tried to get him to change one since learning that, but he maintains he'll figure it out when our baby gets here. We'll so how well that works!

Because a lot of my friends who read this have never been pregnant, I figured a post of some of the things I have learned in the last few months would be helpful. Or at least humorous. So here we go:


Not quite the gestation period of an elephant
I'm betting if you ask most people how long a woman is pregnant, they will say nine months. (Maybe not most men, but I feel this is a fact many women have filed away in the inner recesses of their brains.) So nine months is how long you carry a baby for, right? Wrong.

For a lot of women it can actually be ten months. This is partly due to the math doctors and midwives use when confirming your pregnancy. I went to the doctor's office on Sept. 13. They asked me when the first day of my last period was, and I said Aug. 1 or 2. The nurse grabbed a little wheel, spun some things around and determined I was six weeks pregnant. If you know anything about a monthly cycle, you don't ovulate until somewhere between 10-18 days in. So there are roughly two weeks added to your gestation period when no baby was ever present! Now I realize this doesn't prolong any pregnancy symptoms since you hadn't conceived in that period, but still! It can really throw you off if you never knew that!

Then you have the pros tell you that the average woman delivers between 38 and 40 weeks. The World Health Organization says 37-42 weeks. What does that mean? It means if you deliver at 38 weeks, congratulations, you carried a baby for exactly nine months! (Remember, subtract roughly two weeks for that pre-conception period.) But if you go over 38 weeks, you go over nine months! Make it to 42 weeks (which rarely happens in our country, by the way) and you've carried a kid for ten months! Nowhere near the gestation period of an elephant--22 months--but still! It's not like there's anything we can do about it; I just feel like the general population should be re-educated to know that a typical pregnancy lasts longer than nine months, that's all.


Unsolicited information
So I'm not really showing yet. I'm supposedly 18 weeks today, and I seem to have a case of a disappearing baby bump (see more on that below). I know from friends with children that once it is readily apparent I'm pregnant, I will get more advice than I ever wanted to hear. And mainly horror stories at that. However, I do have one story I can share that I find pretty funny.

Before we told anyone we were expecting, I had to visit the podiatrist. Note: it's always a good idea to tell your doctors of any kind that you're pregnant. I told my dental hygienist, not thinking dentist appointments affect anything, but they do. You shouldn't have dental x-rays when you're pregnant. Good to know. Anyway, back to the podiatrist. I shared with her I was a few weeks pregnant, so I could no longer take the prescription I had been on for plantar warts. She then congratulates me and asks how I've been feeling. Typical reactions, especially when you're in your first trimester. But it gets better.

I tell her I've been horribly nauseated--24/7. Very little vomiting, but major nausea that never ends. Not bad enough to land me in the hospital because I wasn't dehydrated or unable to keep food down, but just bad enough to keep from doing anything productive. Stop for a moment and think how you would react. I expect many of you would say, "Oh gosh, that's terrible! I'm so sorry!" or something like that. Here's what I got: she proceeds to tell me that she loved being pregnant and felt great with all four of her kids. Really?! She then says, "And I gained about 66 pounds with each baby. It was great! I ate everything!"

I'll let that sink in. Sixty-six pounds?! Not only should you not gain that much weight, but why on earth would you share that story with me after I just told you I've been unable to eat much of anything!

Wait...what can I eat?
Speaking of eating, I went to lunch with my friend Sarah a few weeks ago. During that time I was telling her about the foods I'm not supposed to eat. Things like deli meat, fish with high mercury contents, crab meat, sushi, soft cheeses. Before being pregnant I pretty much knew not to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or do drugs. No brainers. But I had no idea the extent of things I can't eat or should rarely eat, as well as other things to stay away from. Deli meat is a huge thing--I've had nurses tell me none at all, but one of my midwives said, go ahead if it's been thoroughly cooked first and you trust the butcher. Subway? Nope. Local grocery store? After a few months, I'm giving that one a shot. I never thought I would actually want to eat ham sandwiches as much as I do.

Along with deli meats, no hot dogs. No undercooked meat. Man, do I want to eat a hot dog right now! It's not just because of the risk of listeria crossing the placenta, but it's also the nitrates or nitrites or whatever that are in hot dogs and other meats. And I like to eat steak cooked medium. That has to go out the window. I need to become a "well" sort of person now. Boo.

It gets even more complicated. While you have to limit caffeine (not really a problem for me, but I do drink Coke when I feel nauseated. You gotta do what works!) you also have to limit herbal teas or nix them completely. There are some that induce contractions, some that do other weird things. How the heck am I supposed to know? My midwive said, just call us and ask. Yep, I'll be sure to put you on speed dial so each time I enter a coffee shop I'll know what's okay or not. Think I'll be sticking to my hot chocolate, black tea and cider.

Speaking of cider--you can't have unpasteurized things. I had a sip of unpasteurized cider the day before I found this out. And for those of you who know Andrew and I drink raw milk from a farm, I have cut that out, though I really believe in this farm and feel I wouldn't have any problems if I continued.

Other than that, you can't sit in hot tubs, ride bikes, ski, stand on ladders, paint things, on and on and on. And many doctors will say no baths. My midwive just told me I'm fine to do that if I can stick my elbow in the water for 15 seconds. That means the temp is below 100 degrees and fine for bathing. But what if my elbow is just way tougher than yours??

Being pregnant can be complicated.

Because this post is getting long, I'm going to break it into two parts. Check back for the second installment including fun stories of measuring shelves with fruit (what?!) and the case of the disappearing baby bump that I promised.